HomeFriendshipsYOU CANNOT CHANGE SOME FRIENDS. ALL YOU CAN DO IS AVOID THEM.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOME FRIENDS. ALL YOU CAN DO IS AVOID THEM.
June 14, 2017
You will make friends with people who you cannot change. They will have personalities or attitudes that do not make sense to you, and which you will find strange or weird or annoying. And they will not change. Maybe there is a reason for them being like this, maybe there is not.
We don’t know what their past experiences are, or their reason for being the way they are. I am not saying it is right for them to behave in the manner they behave in. But what I am trying to say is that when a friend is a certain way, it is normally because of a combination of experiences in their past which we know nothing about; as well as beliefs, thought patterns and habits that have been ingrained into them over a period of several years.
While there are people who do change, and some people can change in an instant; holding your breath hoping that everyone you want to change will change is just naïve. It will not happen, despite how much we might want it to.
A lot of people have a tendency to stay with negative people, or the wrong people, because they keep hoping that the person will change and become a better fit for them.
In most cases, this does not happen.
But a lot of people will try to change someone for the better, and after trying several times and failing, rather than cutting their losses and making new friends, they will stick with the same negative, toxic person.
There will be friends you have who are just not advantageous to your life. Do you have friends who are making your life worse but you keep them around anyway? Think carefully about it.
What about that guy you are friends with that is obsessed with chasing girls and keeps trying to get you to join him on his quest to waste his life chasing as many girls as possible.
Or that negative friend that always criticises you and makes you feel bad (is that really a friend?).
Or any other type of friend that is making your life miserable and lowering the quality of your life?
And rather than accepting that they are the way they are, you keep trying to change them for the better, or hope they will change; and nothing happens.
Rather than continue to waste your time and energy and continue to suffer like this; a more effective solution would be to just cut them out of your life in a peaceful manner. As in avoid them. If they want to catch up or spend time with you, give them a polite excuse so you can avoid them.
It does not always have to be a permanent avoidance of them. Maybe in the future they may change. But at this point in time, they are clearly the way they are, they refuse to change, and there is nothing to be done about it.
Cut your losses, and don’t waste time wishing they will change and things will be different. Accept the situation for what it is.
You cannot always understand why these people behave the way they do. Their behaviour will not make sense to you. All you can do is avoid them. Accept that they are that way, that they are clearly not beneficial to your life, and avoid them.