DO NOT MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD IF YOU WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS
June 14, 2017
There is so much negativity out there in the world today, and too many people making other people feel bad. If you want to have friends, you have to make sure you are not making people feel bad. Not just the people around you that you know, but also random strangers, and people on the internet that you will never meet in real life.
What we do repeatedly becomes a habit and automatic behaviour pattern for us. Some people like to go on social media or the internet and make random strangers feel bad. They think this does not have any repercussions, but when you start making random people feel bad, you are training yourself to get into the habit of making others feel bad, and before long you will automatically be making people you know feel bad. And this is when you will start losing friends.
Just spent 4 hours insulting random people on the internet. This is why has no friends.
HUMANS ARE EMOTIONAL CREATURES
We humans are emotional creatures. Despite what we may like to think of ourselves, at the end of the day we are more emotional than logical. During the evolutionary process, the emotional side of our brain developed first, then the logical side of our brain evolved later.
This is why people who are trying to stick to a diet or exercise plan struggle so much. To a lot of people, it feels better to eat junk food or not exercise than to do the alternative. Logically, they know it is wrong, but their emotions are stronger. This is also why the dieting and exercise industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. If our logical side were stronger than our emotional side, this is one of many industries that never would have existed in the first place. But a lot of people cannot control their emotions, and hence need a strict diet plan, or supplement, or a personal trainer, or something else that cost money because they can’t make the correct decision due to the emotional side being stronger than logical side.
Never underestimate the power of emotions.
We feel emotions very strongly, and emotions can colour and alter our entire perception of an event.
This can be used to our advantage, or become a really big disadvantage in a social interaction.
We tend to associate emotions to a person based on how that person makes us feel during an interaction with them.
Have you ever had a friend who always makes you feel good about yourself?
What type of emotions have you associated with that friend of yours?
What is the first feeling that comes up when you think of that friend?
Is it a positive or negative feeling?
And do you feel happy at the thought or possibility of seeing that friend again?
When we have a friend who makes us feel good, we like that person and are happy to see them.
DO NOT MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD
The exact opposite of making people feel good holds true as well. If we have a friend or know someone who always makes us feel bad, we will not look forward to seeing that person and will avoid him or her. We will automatically feel bad at the thought of seeing them again, and we will try to avoid them or even cut them out of our lives.
So a big key to making friends is to make people feel good about themselves.
A big key to losing friends and have people avoid you is to make them feel bad about themselves.
If you keep criticising people, insulting them, putting them down, embarrassing them, keep reminding them of times they failed or did badly in life, or any type of negative behaviour; this will make people feel bad and cause them to avoid you.
Avoid any such behaviour or topics in a conversation.
In a conversation with someone, you should not be condescending or insult the people you are talking to.
Nobody likes to be insulted, embarrassed, or made to feel inferior. And nobody has the right to make other people feel that way.
If you keep making people feel that way, you will soon find yourself without any friends.
Reminding people of their failures, or keeping the conversation on the times they failed or did badly in their life, will make them unhappy. Do not bring up topics about times that they failed or lost something. Talk about something else. If you have a friend who failed a subject, or cannot find work; and the conversation is on that topic and you can tell he or she does not want to talk about it, then change the topic. If the other person brings up the topic themselves and want to talk about it, or want emotional comfort and support, then it is fine to talk about it.
But do not bring it up yourself.
And if you did bring it up, do not keep the conversation on that topic if they don’t like it.
If you have brought up the topic of your friend being in a car accident, and he or she looks uncomfortable or tries to change the topic, then change the topic to something else that is not negative and will not make them feel bad.
Causing others to feel bad will only end badly for your social life.
If you are one of those people that tends to make others feel bad, you need to make a conscious behaviour to stop this and change your behaviour pattern.
And if you are one of those people that goes on the internet or social media, and criticises, or insults random people; this is going to affect your social life in the long-term and needs to stop now. By engaging in such behaviour, you are training yourself to get into the habit of doing it automatically and more often. And next time you are spending time with friends or family, you will find yourself unconsciously and automatically talking to them the way you talk to people on the internet. And you will regret it then!
A lot of our behaviour in social interactions are automatic and a result of habit. The more often you consciously practise making others feel bad, whether they are strangers or not, the more you will develop this habit. And this habit will follow you around into other social interactions and damage your relationships with the people in your life. It can eventually lead to loss of friends and relationships, and even isolation and loneliness in extreme cases.
Do not make people feel bad, whether you know them or not.
MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD
The alternative is to try to make people feel good when you can.
Talk about the positives in their lives. If they are skilled at playing soccer, talk about that.
Support their dreams and ambitions. If they want to find work and have been trying but failing, support and encourage them.
Don’t insult them, but show them respect and appreciation.
Compliment them. If they cooked a good meal, let them know it was delicious and you liked it.
When you make people feel good, more people will like you and you will have more friends.
But that is not the main reason to make people feel good.
When you start to make people feel good, you will also start to feel good about yourself. Because when you go out there giving out a lot of positive energy and making people feel good; it is hard for you to not start feeling better in the process.