HomeSelf-esteemMake A List Of All The People Who Have Liked You In The Past
Make A List Of All The People Who Have Liked You In The Past
January 3, 2018
It is all too easy for some people to forget that they are likeable and people do like them.
Some people who have the mistaken idea that everyone should like them (which is unrealistic and will never happen) will drive themselves into depression by focusing on the people who do not like them. Even when they do have a lot of people who like them, they will be depressed because they mistakenly think that everyone should like them.
As long as there is only one person who does not like them, the person who thinks that everyone should like them will always be depressed. This is why having the idea of wanting everybody to like you is unwise, because it will never happen. In reality it does not happen that everybody will like you. And as long as you keep wanting everybody to like you, you will always give the power to control your happiness over to other people. All it will take is just one person to not like you, and you will lose your happiness.
Accept that not everyone will like you.
That is the first step you have to take. And it is not even that hard. You just have to be realistic and look at reality. Not everyone will like you, me, or anyone else. Even the Pope and the Dalai Lama, who are two of the most peaceful people on the planet, have people who criticise them and don’t like them. It’s impossible to not have people dislike you and to have everybody like you. It will never happen.
So be realistic and realise that not everybody will like you.
Once you have realised that, you will be living in reality.
You will stop focusing on the people who do not like you.
Next, you should start focusing on the fact that people do like you, and you are a likeable person.
One way to do this, is to think of all the times in the past when people have liked you. Make a list of all the times people in the past have liked you.
They do not have to be people who were gushing over you or were infatuated with you. They can be people who liked you only just a little in the past.
Write down this list on a piece of paper, or type it up.
Then look at it, and think about it. Remind yourself of all the people who have liked you. This shows that you are a likeable person.
It does not have to be a big list with a lot of people on it. It can be a small list with just a few people on it.
The reason for doing this exercise is that the human mind has a tendency of focusing on the wrong things and creating a disproportionate view of reality. Normally there will be one person that does not like you, and your mind will focus on that and convince you that nobody will like you. Or you will have one embarrassing moment in front of other people, and your mind will focus on that and convince you that you always embarrass yourself or that people always think of how embarrassing you are. In reality, this is not true.
Your mind has just focused on the wrong moments in your life and has convinced you that this is how ‘reality’ is.
How long would an embarrassing moment go for? How long would a moment where someone rejects you go for?
Normally it would be between a few seconds to 5 minutes.
There are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year. That is 31,536,000 seconds in a year! Yet, we will be in a situation where we embarrass ourselves, which may only last for 20 seconds, or 300 seconds (5 minutes); yet we focus on it and convince ourselves that this is how ‘reality’ and life is like. 300 seconds out of 31,536,000 seconds in a year is nothing! It is less than a fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction, of one per cent of the total number of seconds for the year!!!
You need to get your mind to refocus on reality. Some people do this automatically. They do not dwell on the negatives in life, and automatically focus on and think of only the positive moments in life. This causes them to enjoy life more.
But a lot of other people focus on the negatives instead, and this distorts their view of reality.
So you need to get your mind to focus on the positive instead.
And you can do this by writing down lists, and looking at it and thinking about it. The very act of thinking about and writing down all the times people have liked you in the past will create a shift in what your mind concentrates on, and as a result, it will change what you accept for ‘reality’.
You can do this for other areas of your life as well. You can make a list of all the times good things have happened in your life to convince yourself that life is kind to you. You can write down a list of all the things you have to be thankful for in your life to convince your mind that you should be grateful for your life. You can use writing lists to change your perception of reality for other areas of your life.
The very act of thinking about and mentally trying to remember and find the positive moments will itself cause your mind to start focusing on it. The act of writing it down and putting it down into a list gets the physical senses of touch and sight involved. This signifies to your mind a commitment and investment to focus more on this as you are putting more effort into these thoughts and bringing them from your mind into physical reality. And having the list to look at helps you better commit it to memory, as you can keep looking at it in the future to better remember it and remind yourself of it.
You can also use lists to convince yourself you have the ability to make friends. Make a list of all the friends you have had in the past. It does not matter if you are still friends with them or not, if you or they have moved to another area and you haven’t seen them in years, or anything else. It does not matter if you do not see them anymore. What matters is that there was a time in your life when you were friends with them. And that shows you do have the ability to make friends. Write down these people who you were friends with on a list. The list does not have to be big or have a lot of names on it. As long as you have a few people on that list who were your friends that will be enough to create a list to convince your mind you have the ability to make friends.
Use lists. Write lists of people who have liked you in the past, and people who used to be your friends to convince your mind that you are a likeable person that other people will like and you have the ability to make friends.